The only site where I can just express my feelings right now since no one I know knows I have this site . I just need some answers on what to do and how to fix this situation can't even fuckkn sleep. Because of all this guilt

I can't help but think what happen. It is really bothering me right now I feel songuilty even though I didn't even mean to do it , it still bothers me like crazy right now I can't even go to sleep because I keep thinking about it even though I'm really trying to not think bout it but ugh . I feel like a bad friend I really don't know what to say or do. I know it was a accident but it is still my fault for this to happen, it maybe just a car windshield but it's really a big deal to me I just can't stop thinking bout it. It's freaking killing me I try to not think about it even tho she say it's okay it really not okay atleast not for me. Why must this situation even happen I wish it never happen I just wanna cry it out . I felt like I did something really horrible that's all I think about is that I feel like a horrible person right now . Honestly if it wasn't for tha damn bee neon I'm the car none of this fucking shit would happen I couldnt help but spaz out I was scared now this bee made a worst situation for me atleast ugh what the fuck do I do. I feel like I can't tell anyone how bad and guilty I feel for this. We all going to be going to wet n wild and I really don't wanna think about it but inside it's gonna kill me I just want to have fun but just the fact that I accidentally crack my friend windshield fuckin bothers me like crazy. I can just go on about this be ause I just feel so terribly bad . I M truly sorry for what happen and I feel like I needa do something for her so I don't fe this guilty. I wish I had a job so I can pay her back as soon as possible I absolutely can not ask my parents because it's not their fault it's mine . Fuck my life fuck it fuck it fuck it

feels like i can post on here since nobody will be able to see it my last place where no one i really know i have this site. well today i accidentally broke my car window shield i don't know how i did but i did it . there was a bee on the floor in her car and was about to come right at me so i ran out and she told me omg u broke my window i was like omg what the fuck i really don't know how i did it i know i didn't hit my head on it cause i would of felt it hit my head. i feel so bad i don't know what to do i know i have to pay back but i dont even have any money and i don't wanna tell my mom cause she would be so fucking pissed at me and she already spent enough stuff on me. i really don't know what to do i don't have a job right now i'm in the process of looking for one and i will for sure pay her back i want to pay it with my own money since it's my fault for doing this. i feel like cryig cause i never been in this situation and since it's my best friend car i really don't know what to do . i feel so sad depress i just ugh i don't know what to do in this situation i really don't want her to be mad but i mean who wouldn't if you had a crack on your car window shield. i really don't even know who else to talk to . i just want to cry i just want to know how it happened if it wasn't for that damn bee i wouldn't be in this situation right now i just want to cry my heart out i feel like a bad person

Haven't blog in Long time. It's summer nothing much to do . Tried everything we could possibly think of . I Basically done everything i could do in Raleigh ... I'm going crazy about the schoool , because i definately do not want to attend Southeast Raleigh ! they start schoool too freakin sooooooon ! uqh so i'ma do whatever i can to freakin chanqe schoool! uqh raleiqh sucks lol . hmm whats so good about GUCCI MANE ? he's like the worst rapper ever.! with his dark and black chapped lips ! lol ... blah i thouqht i moved on , but i didn't which sucksz i still can't believe i still like him . I wanna stop , but i can't ...

weeeee ;] i'm getting my big bang cd & poster ! so happy ! ive wanted this for the lonqest time ... MY BIRTHDAY IS IN 2 WEEEKS ! i'm finally going to turn 16 lol , still kinda young cuz i have friends older than me haha . but yea still planning on what to do bkus i really wanted a party but nooo can't =/ too much money ... maybe next year when my uncle gets out of jail ;] by anywhoooo .... sprinq break is over it was pretty much lame , didnt do shit ... Yesterday WAS LAOS & CAMBODIAN NEW YEARS ;] the temple suck , the one in raleigh nooo teeens qo cuz raleiqh sucks . i really wanna go to the one in high point this weekend it will be soooo fun , but i doubt it .. laos new years party this weekend as well i kno im going to that oneeee. but idk whos going yet only a fewww people ... uqh schoools sucks hate lunch bkus of the buk kao ,.... blahhhh ;]

Hate school ! hate most of the people as well. stupid quy trynaa start shit w/ me thinkinq he knows who i am ? he says He know mad shit about asians , laos people. first of all no you don't . you definately don't know our culture and shit . and your canadian ass , thinkinq you know everything when you dont . thinkinq i need attention for arguing with you? uhm no i dont even want the attention im juss trying to prove my damn point . how you going to tell someone whos laos what they do and what they dont when they obviously live with , is , been around laos people ? man blah don't even start ... anyways we have make up days for snow on our sprinq break ! im definately not going. skippinq i dont care what anyone says im not going . I'm so happy i qet to move to a new school next year ! cuz i can't take this school any lonqer ... ;]

It's beeen since last week since i wrote in here ... finally got my internet backk. last week was probably the WORST WEEEEEEEK EVER ! finally its over . this week has been pretty good . Ive been in a good mOODDDD! ive been talkinq to this personn ;] which makes me happy. ugh i hate the weather ! i hate summer/spring ANYTHING DEALING WITH HEAT/HOTNESS ! lol. i love winter ! haha but thank qoodness tommrow is going to be mad cold again ! hahaha... winter isnt quite over haha .... the weather has a bipolar. just because its been hot for few days everyone is going crazy wit the whole shorts shorts skirts ,etc. watch dem wear all dis when its going to be cold again lol